Goodbye, Hello, and on we go...

On December 31. 2017, just before midnight, I wrapped up and finished my final song of my 2017 music project  ... I have not had much time for reflection, but I can tell you I have been very thankful for this project all year, even during the frustrating moments.

Music was my first love, yet some how was completely slipping out of my life. Becoming an adult with adult obligations, a normal job at one point, and then health issues that lead to other struggles eventually started to drown out the things I really truly loved. Over the past few years, I have decided to give myself little "challenges" -- this started after attending a Kyle Cease event, where he gave us "homework" in the form of a personal challenge. He encouraged us to find something important to us that we wanted to incorporate into our life, to help us start shifting into living the way we truly would like to live. The challenge was just for a month or so - it only takes that long to help create a healthy habit for yourself, though some people did longer - and once you start, you may end up wanting to continue, as it becomes a part of your life. My first personal challenge was to prioritize my physical health. I had been struggling to get my physical therapy/workouts in daily, as I once had and I could feel it. All the hard work I had done was melting back into more severe pain. The challenge was about me relearning how to prioritize something that is actually very important to me. It was so easy for me to let my priorities slip, and let life or other people choose for me. It was immensely helpful to do this in a challenge form, and once I started, I felt positive effects immediately, and I remember how quickly the negative effects hit, which helped further motivate me. From there, I have had projects/challenges for meditation, art giveaways (one per month for a year), painting (two 30 day challenges), and most recently, this music project (one tiny original song every month for a year). These have ALL helped me so much! Each one was initiated because I became aware of an imbalance...I realized that I needed to take initiative to shift my own life towards my true priorities. Because these challenges targeted things I truly want to have as a part of my normal day to day life, they've now stuck. I workout daily (unless sick or if the entire day is completely packed - such as days I am photographing a wedding), I meditate daily (even if it is brief), creativity is a more solid part of my life (and has helped open me up to galleries and events and actually being an active, displaying, creating artist), and this past year, just about every single one of my instruments was used as was my new computer (making good use of what I have, right now), learning soooooo much in the process. I didn't consider it a challenge quite like these, but I also have done an elimination diet at one point to try to pin point triggers for some health issues (it kind of worked similar to these challenges though, as a daily thing I had to prioritize) - which lead to eating so much healthier, and is something that became a lifestyle shift. My point is, this method has been so helpful for me shift and LIVE what my true priorities are, and as I take a moment to reflect, it is truly amazing how these lead to some complete lifestyle changes that have helped my mind, body, soul health.

So. I'd like to continue.



Challenge #1
Right now, at this point in my life, I am not sure I will be able to continue with music to the degree I have been this past year, without something like this monthly challenge...and because it has been so helpful, inspiring, healing, and such a great learning opportunity, I think I am going to do another round. I am unsure if I will hold myself to the songs having to be tiny but I will be creating/recording one original song per month and I think at this point, I will continue it on Patreon. Check it out if you'd like to follow along (you can opt out at any time). It is truly amazing to think about how I've created 12 decently-ish recorded original songs this past year, and I love the thought of continuing that. It has opened my eyes and ears in so many ways (which I should probably put into a separate blog post ;) ).



Challenge #2
Two years ago, I had an idea, but I was afraid it was stupid...well, I was afraid others would think it was stupid. It was too simple and I feared no one else would see the value in it. This idea popped back into my head recently, and without much thought, I realized it is something Iiiii feel is important and beneficial to me. And that is enough reason to do it. I will share more about this soon, but the basics: 365 days of looking up. Right now, I posted Day 1 on instagram  - I haven't decided if that is where I will be posting the project as a whole, or elsewhere...I honestly haven't thought through any of these challenges just yet, but I know I want to jump in and do them. Anyway, I will be taking a photo of the sky each day. Simple, yes, but I'll share more behind the why soon.





Challenge #3
I completely dropped the ball on this last year. I had a second creative challenge I wanted to do in 2017, but only achieved a very small portion of it. It was to do a total of 6 modeling shoots (in which I am the model). Let's try that again this year. Photographers, if you're reading this and interested in collaborating, please get in touch. (Note: I do think I will be having to chop the hair this year, but would really like to utilize this length while I have it!)




I have many other things I'd like to bring into my life more, and do intend to work on them...but this is where I am starting - and starting somewhere often has far reaching ripples. I want to appreciate what I have, and use it to the fullest, now. I want to do the things I love, while I can, starting now. That is how to love the life you live. Waiting for the day when life will magically give me the things I feel I need in order to move forward, or waiting for life to just give me more time, it doesn't work like that. I need to take initiative and realize my life is made up of my choices. I can't control everything, and I wouldn't want to. But I can choose how to react, I can choose what I do with where I am, with what I have. I can choose to value and act upon the things I feel are important to me, not just talk about it or hope I get to do those things some day. And I don't need anyone else's approval or permission to value what I feel is important to me.


Goodbye 2017.



Hello 2018.

Pieces of Projects from Pieces of Life

Currently, I am working on a handful of projects... Some of them have been waiting for quite some time, as I have struggled to find the materials I have in mind ... This is one of those projects. I had finally put into words the meaning the copper heart pendants had for me ... and have been asked a few times to consider including that WITH the pendants. Since everything used to make the pendants is scrap/repurposed/second-hand, I wanted whatever I made this part of to also be some form of eco-friendly. I am kind of surprised at how difficult it has been to locate eco-friendly paper options in town, and the online options are quite expensive that I just can't do right now. But that is ok.. because I got creative with it and realized I already have everything I need. I used an envelop - that happened to be from a friend's wedding invite, so it makes me smile to be using something like that (every element of these pendants are going to be filled with love and goodness!) ... I used a typewriter I am borrowing from a friend, which worked perfectly because I wasn't sure how else to print it on such odd sized pieces of paper. I made mistakes. All kinds of them. And there is no CTRL+Z on this machine. But part of the "beauty" of the actual pendants is in their imperfections ... just like us humans ... and just like our lives.

I wanted these printed on paper thin enough to fold - like...origami. A while ago, I learned how to fold paper hearts, for a specific reason ... I would put messages/quotes on them for someone who meant something to me, who was going through some tough times, as little bits of inspiration or things to hopefully light up a smile ... As I've mentioned in the past, the heart shape has taken on a wider meaning for me, it isn't just this lovey dovey thing ... there is a speaker (Kyle Cease) who really opened up my mind on love - he said that each of us, as individuals, we ARE love. When we realize that, we realize we can spread/share love in so many more ways than just relationships, we can just BE it, we don't have to go out trying to GET it ... we don't have to feel down because we don't have it (from others), because we ARE it ... (and realizing we ARE it also allows us to realize we are complete as is ... we don't have to get the rest of ourselves from others - this gets pretty complex to write out ... if you are interested, I highly suggest checking out some of Kyle's videos - I linked to his youtube which is loaded with incredible content) ... and we become so much more open to the various ways to receive love. Hearts/love also are a reminder for me to come from a place of love - vs fear (also a thing I learned from Kyle Cease) ... to tune into my heart, and listen... to be my truest self...and follow that truth. Much of this was also behind the motivation for creating the paper hearts for this person ... and of course, hearts can be used to show that you care. I also think there is a neat little bit of symbolism to this ... in order to read/see what is inside, you must "open your heart" ... 

People come and go from our lives for a variety of reasons. A quote that has always stuck with me regarding this was from a random person who was photographed by the Humans of New York fellow ... this woman said "When my husband was dying, I said: 'Moe, how am I supposed to live without you ?' He told me: 'Take the love you have for me and spread it around.'” Sometimes when we care about someone, and they leave our lives for some reason, it feels like love also goes/dies... because we don't get to give that to them anymore, nor do we get to feel it from them. This quote + Kyle Cease's work reminds me that that isn't necessarily true ... Those who truly mean something to us, chances are they changed our lives and changed us in some way ... to remember what you've learned from them, to remember the care/love you've felt from them, and spread that around in creative ways is a way to "carry them on" in a sense ... to honor them ... this person, who I had made paper hearts for, with meaningful words within, had been a huge inspiration in so many ways for me. And while I unfortunately may not be able to keep the actual human, I may not be able to continue giving paper hearts to them ... and as sad as all of this can feel ... the lessons, the memories, the inspiration, the love from and for this person are a part of me, and I can carry it on and spread it all around. It lives on in a different form ... the person lives on in a different form ... and to do this is the best way I can think of to say "Thank you" for existing, for the moments with you, and for what you've brought to my life ... and that will all live on.

When I was thinking about how to include the meaning of these pendants, everything I've shared here just connected at one point, and it felt the paper hearts were fitting for this ... with their personal history/meaning, with the materials used, and with the symbolism.

Here is the written meaning of the inspiration behind the copper pendants themselves, that is imperfectly typed onto folded paper hearts ...

This pendant is made of scrap wire, hammered on concrete, symbolizing the times in life we feel beaten. The yarn serves as a forget-me-knot to keep a softness in our heart. The pendant represents that no matter what we go through, we can choose to BE love, kindness, compassion, whatever we want to be...and we can choose to make something beautiful.

Delayed post - May thoughts

When I work on something, I do my best. When I am passionate about it on top of that, I will completely throw myself into the project. I will skip "self-care" things like sleep, or whatever necessary. Now, there is a time and a place I am sure, but I think today I was meant to learn a few things...

The past two days, I have been working on my recording for May's song. I have been pretty excited about the song, it is fun to play and it is freshly created just a couple weeks ago. Seeing it progress has been really cool, and I am glad I have the footage of its growth to look back on some day. Once it got to the final days of recording, I ran into numerous issues. This has been common, so far, even though I have been trying to find ways to embrace/learn from/reduce the issues... The technical issues can be really frustrating, but I know that I am learning and it is part of figuring out what my equipment is capable of in an at-home setting. Day one actually went pretty well. I actually thought I could release the song a day early! However, upon review, the sound was clipping. I was puzzled, as GarageBand let's you know if it is clipping, and I was sure to adjust my settings to be well within a healthy range. After discussing the issue with a friend, I had a few things to try out in the morning. I woke up early, hoping it would give me plenty of time before the neighborhood started getting a bit noisier with people moving around. It did not take terribly long to fix the clipping issue - the first option and attempt worked! Hypothetically this should be a slam dunk. However, a series of events took place involving outside people/factors - most of which were completely outside of the house. Now, all of these people are just going about their day. I realize they aren't trying to ruin my project, or my life. During these few hours, the amount of factors outside of my control were becoming overwhelming. I struggled to come up with creative solutions. The best I could do was try to pound out as many attempts, working around all the external noises, and hope that some of the noises were swallowed up by the electric guitar. After playing a song for a few hours, fatigue sets in, and pains act up - of the fingers, the wrists, the shoulder, feet, the whole body...and mind. Things started to unravel quickly, including time. Once my fingers hurt too much to consistently be able to press the guitar strings down (a fairly important piece of making notes ;) ), I had to call it quits and hope that I had gotten something useable.

While I would have loved to have just jumped into listening and editing what I had recorded for the past half of a day, I realized this may be a good opportunity to utilize somethings I have been working on to help with patience and peace. I could feel I was tense and stressed, to continue carrying that through out the day wasn't going to make life any easier. So I took a breather. I made a healthy delicious meal, and laid in the hammock outside with a book: Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. I am already in the process of a few books, but they involve some extra work and I just wanted to read a bit (only to find out this book also comes with some extra work/exercises ;) ). It was such a perfect book to help regain some inner balance and perspective. And that brief period of time was much needed in terms of self-care.

It lead me to ponder: Can I be dedicated and passionate, but still practice good self-care? Or reduce unnecessary compromises? Can I be a hard worker, yet not at the expense of mental/emotional/physical health? I am working on this balance. The trick it to remember these things in the moment, when the work and pressure is weighing on your shoulders... and even though I may love what I do, I must remember to love myself as well.

Affiliate disclaimer: NFG (artist) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. What this essentially means is that if you use the links to the book in this blog to purchase the books for yourself, I would earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. That being said, I would suggest these books regardless of how you choose to purchase and read/purchased them well before signing up for the affiliate program. :)

Getting weird with it

Pondering today: Limitations as opportunity for creativity. 

There are things we learn how to do, based off of how other people were taught how to do, based off of how people before them learned how to, based off of how other people created the technique accomplish the task. And then we can end up thinking that that is the only way. 

Life has thrown some interesting bumps in the road. At times, it feels like I am plagued with limitations. At other times, I realize that I am getting exactly what I wanted, just not in the way I wanted it. To live a life like art, where creativity is a part of my every day existence - not just the occasional opportunity to make what we obviously can recognize as art. This has transformed my entire life, shifting this perspective. What once would have been viewed as dead-ends and hopelessness turn into the weirdest techniques, ideas, and paths I never could have imagined. 

With the variety of physical health issues that I have accumulated over the past 8+ years, there have been many things I never thought I’d be able to do or continue doing. A devastating thought in the beginning, for someone in their early 20’s. However, at the same time, I have done things I never thought possible, even prior to the health issues. And I have slowly been creating new ways to do the other things I never thought would be an option. At times, it seems like it would be so nice to just be normal. To be able to do the things “normal” people can, without everything having to be what can feel like a constant struggle, riddled with pain. 

From cooking, to painting, to music-ing, to traveling, to basic day to day activities (some as simple as sitting). Things I thought I lost forever, things I just didn’t think I could ever figure out, things I didn’t think I could ever do with out crippling pain.

The past couple days, I have been working on wire heart pendants, I was asked to make one for someone in specific. However, I am out of wire that others have stripped for me … which means I have to do it on my own. This can be a challenge with the physical “limitations” - pain, weakness, etc. It wasn’t long into the process before my hands and arms were hurting, and I was almost working up a sweat from the struggle. I tried a different tool. Improvement. Today, I decided to do a few more pendants, trying to let the wire/ideas flow to see what comes out - while searching for the perfect fit for this custom request. Still struggling to get that coating off of the wire. I added another technique suggested by a friend. More improvement. This is where things get weird. Sort of by accident, I started using my hands AND feet. I am shocked at how much easier it made the process! I am flying through it! With less physical energy exerted, less pain, less scrunched up constipated faces and grunting, and a greatly reduced risk of black eyes and knocked out teeth ... more wire, more pendants, more excitement, more creativity. Freedom.

There is a “proper” way to do this (or that), that works, and is no big deal to some people. That way wasn’t working well for me. For a while, I accepted that I just can’t do it, and will need someone else to do it, which then can be limiting, because then my art depends on other people. Collecting suggestions and stumbling upon my own twist, I felt a sense of freedom and excitement! 

I wanted to share, because not only is it super helpful/handy for those who may also struggle to do this (or that), but it is sort of entertaining/silly so maybe you’ll get a chuckle. So I am sharing. Laugh if you’d like. And I also hope that it inspires to think outside the box. Yes, there are ways to do things that can work, and that have been proven. But IF that doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t necessarily mean you can not achieve your end goal. Sometimes it is a matter of a little creativity and a change of perspective. Instead of a limitation, perhaps it is an opportunity. Instead of viewing limitation as a door slammed in your face, perhaps there is a door in the floor, or the ceiling that you could use instead? Maybe there is a window? And any of those doors may be far more interesting/innovative than the regular old door anyway. ;)

There was a book that touches on this kind of thing, that a friend gave me to read last year: Move Into Life It talks about the importance to changing up daily habits, to wake up from automatic mode, which will keep our brain alive and thriving/growing.  

Affiliate disclaimer: NFG (artist) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. What this essentially means is that if you use the links to the books in this blog to purchase the books for yourself, I would earn a small commission. That being said, I would suggest these books regardless of how you choose to purchase (if you choose to purchase) and read/mentioned them well before signing up for the affiliate program. :) And will ONLY ever post these if I truly find them beneficial/helpful. 

Expansion...

I have been trying to think of interesting things to add to this new Patreon experience for my music challenge... while I have loads of unrelated ideas, I want to be sure I keep this focused on the music for the time being. I don't know if this is at all interesting to anyone else, but I was plunking around on the piano recently, trying to remember a song I wrote years and years (and years) ago (which may be February's tune)... it wasn't pretty, but I recorded some of it. Given my experience with January, and how I found myself wondering if professional musicans are just perfect human beings (and something I'll never be), I thought it would be interesting to try to document some of the "unpretty" parts... the beginning stages... the parts we don't typically want others to see... Now hopefully this section isn't just going to be filled with painful notes and frustrated grunts that will just give you (and me) a headache, but I am creating a "Patreon Patrons only" section to my website, where this content can be watched, laughed at, and maybe make "failed perfectionists" (such as myself) realize there isn't shame in imperfections... this is the process of growth!

If this does sound appealing, the new tier will be available for $5/month... where you will receive the password for the Patreon Patron's section of my website, and of course it includes the previous tier's reward of listening/downloading the final song on Patreon.

I'm not sure what I am getting myself into with this... but I figure it gives me a chance to use this new computer investment more fully, learn the iMovie program, play with basic video editing again, and document the creative process. Plus, maybe it will be helpful to see where I start versus where I end up in a month's time! So if you're interested in more than just still photos from Facebook/Patreon and would like to see some of the other pieces of the puzzle, check it out: www.patreon.com/NFGartist (the $5/month level).

January's experience of the 2017 music challenge

It seems like January flew by. Admittedly, I thought this first song wasn't going to be terribly difficult, as it is pretty short and it was already written a couple years ago, and I actually remembered how to play it! The hurdles I knew existed definitely posed a challenge. (recap on 2017's musical challenge)

I have done a lot of inner work to release the need to be a perfectionist... yet as I listen to each recording attempt, I get to pick apart every mistake, inconsistency, imperfection... I continue to re-record, in hopes that the next time will be perfect, only to fall short. This should be interesting to see how this develops over the year - is it possible to achieve perfection? I seem to have this idea in my head that professional musicians may actually be completely perfect!

The arm was was definitely a factor during this... I can't only play the song so many times before I'm icing my shoulder. Still have to feel out how to deal with the physical health issues, but I'm looking forward to seeing what happens with this - even though it may be a painful process. ;)

It was good to have the chance to play around on the new computer and experience a newer version of GarageBand. The program was quite overwhelming at first with all of the new features (my computer and version of this program is quite old!), but I figured out how to record sound and that was exciting in itself! On top of that, I am playing around with some of the other settings, adding multiple tracks, etc. Thrilled the "white noise" effect I had on my older computer seems not to exist anymore!

So while the final recording may not be quite perfect...there was plenty of good stuff about this experience. I just hope the generous and supportive patrons feel it was worth their while too!

I realized that even though I am on a deadline, why not allow myself to re-record at some point down the line if I have the chance to do it better (as I learn) or to add additional instruments/layers? Of course I need to make the focus each month on a new song, but who knows, maybe some will go smoothly. ;)

This final day of recording was interesting... I didn't have as much time as I was hoping, there were snowplows driving up and down the street and shovelers, I wasn't feeling very well, and my arm hasn't recovered from yesterday's recording session...to name a few. Yet today is when I learned a few new things about GarageBand and my level of listening seemed to deepen. I'm noticing subtle things in my surroundings to pay attention to, as well as subtleties in the recordings (which sometimes just drives me nuts ;) ). As silly as it may sound, I even played around with the shaker in new ways and paid attention to the slight variations found within that instrument. I didn't do anything incredible with this recording or anything, but all that I've learned has me excited for the next tune.




If you'd like to join the project, it can be found here... For $1/month, you get to hear and download the tiny, original song of the month. Thanks for the support!

Here's to additional growth/lessons ... embracing a process that can sometimes be painful...and to reconnecting with "lost" passions. And of course doing something out of your comfort zone...which reminds me, I actually have to release this song now, don't I? ;)

www.patreon.com/NFGartist

Music challenge of 2017: a bit of backstory

I thought I would share some additional information regarding the new creative challenge of 2017, what Patreon is, and why I have decided to use it as the platform for this project.

I covered the next two paragraphs on my Facebook artist page and on my Patreon page, so feel free to skip that part if you already saw those posts: 

Patreon is similar to Kickstarter... except it is for ongoing projects rather than a single project that needs funding. It is a way for people to support creatives - to allow them to keep doing what they do best. The creatives have various "rewards" for different payment levels, these are things they give to those who become "patrons" or supporters/participants of their creative journey. Some charge per project, others charge once a month. There is a huge range of talent over here, pretty inspiring! 

How I am starting out with this, is with a specific year long project. I want to create/record one original small song (probably 1-2 min. or less) a month and release it through Patreon. If you would like to participate/support this project, it is $1/month (which is basically you pay $1 and get to hear and download the monthly original song - the song is yours to keep - and also get to enjoy whatever other content I share over there). I guess I am almost using it as a “shop” in a way or like one of those monthly subscription that we see a lot of these days that involve paying per month for something that interests you yet has an element of surprise (I don't know what to expect from these songs, so it is a surprise for me too!). 

So, music... 

Music was my first love. As a little kid, I would set up buckets like a drum set and use pencils (specifically with big erasers) as drumsticks. I used the vacuum cleaner handle to belt out tunes. I really loved my tiny kiddie keyboard. When I was eight, I started piano lessons. When I was in eighth grade, I started drum lessons. Soon after that, I found a new kind of music in the form of the band Creed, which blew my mind - from lyrics to the incredible guitar picking, it took music to a much deeper level for me. I just felt this need to be able to play these songs, so I started to teach myself guitar. The song I started with was What's This Life For (here is the guitar book on Amazon or check out the My Own Prison album on Amazon). I also started composing music on the computer. As an adult, I've added dabbling in ukulele and xylophone.

I used to be able to sit at the piano (or with any instrument really) and play for hours. However, in my early twenties, some health issues crept up and has made it difficult to continue to play music, especially like I once could, much like some of the struggles I have talked about with art. With art, I have been able to find new ways to create: I've embraced smaller works, and I have expanded the range of mediums/materials so that I can bounce around between several projects depending on what I can physically do and what I feel inspired by. I haven't found tricks like this with music yet, I don't know if they exist. I have been grateful to be able to play a few songs, once in a great while - as that can sometimes be difficult in itself! 

Much like embracing small works of art, I have had several small songs that have come about through the years. I tend to devalue them, because they aren't full length or anything terribly amazing. However, there is something kind of neat about them that I thought would be interesting to explore. And while I explore, I thought it may also be time to start opening up this creative outlet to share...

I think I may stop there for now, and continue this another day. 

Thanks for your support, in any form. :)

To join the project on Patreon: www.patreon.com/NFGartist

Affiliate disclaimer: NFG (artist) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.   ...What this essentially means is that if you use the Amazon links in this blog (which I tried to label as such) and make a purchase, I would earn a small commission. That being said, I would suggest these things regardless of how you choose to purchase (if you choose to purchase).

Creative Challenge #2 of 2017

Photo by Casi Lea Photography, of All Star Studios 

during a lighting lesson

I'm going to get a little crazy with these creative challenges for myself... so hold on tight...

I have slowed down with modeling. Again, there have been hurdles, and I've tripped a bit. This was a creative outlet I never expected to experience, and fell in love with it. Workshops, photo lessons, creative/concept shoots, and so on... I enjoyed it all!

It always felt like a limited time opportunity, however, and I am a bit disappointed in myself to have let it slip away for a bit. So in an attempt to soak it up while I can, I would love to do a total of 6 photoshoots this year - and am open to the type of shoot. I would of course consider more if the interest is there, but am aiming for 6 in which I am willing to do it as a trade (for images). And I will consider out of state options if they'll work with my schedule/financial situation.

What would you like to see? Are there photographers you'd like to see a collaboration with? (new or old)

Photographers, please get in touch if you are interested being considered for one of the six slots. I am looking for shoots that will be beneficial to all involved, that will help us grow, that will inspire. Contact me via PM on my Facebook artist page or through the contact page on my website. I currently have long hair, but may be chopping it around Spring time.

NOTE: I do not do nudes, erotica, fetish.

Kicking off 2017 with a Creative Challenge

Hello 2017.

It is time for another terrifying creative challenge.

I have set up a Patreon page for this one, if you would like to follow along. I may be adding to the  page, but for now I am going to attempt to figure out how it works via this challenge...

Music was my first love, and it has slipped out of my life much like art had due to life and obstacles. My instruments patiently wait, and I am genuinely sad when I think of them going unused, as if they can actually feel the pain of being abandoned... I think it is time to find creative ways to reunite.

This is an idea I've been tossing around in my brain for quite some time, but loads of fears continue to get in the way. Due to a handful of technology issues at the end of 2016, I ended up needing to make a hefty purchase of a shiny new computer and conveniently enough, I think it eliminates a few of the hurdles I had been struggling with regarding this new challenge idea - uh oh, the excuses are dwindling!

So, here we go.

The new creative challenge is to record one tiny tune a month, whether it is one that has been floating around in my collection for a while or a freshly created one. I have loads of song ideas, some of which I rather enjoyed as mini songs, yet I always thought they had to some day "grow up" to the standard length of a "real" song in order to be complete. However, I've decided to embrace them for what they are, plus I think they could make neat ringtones! If you'd like to participate, and if I understand how this Patreon thing works, you can sign up to receive the recordings for $1/month.

I'm not sure what to expect really... All I can say is I have a piano, a guitar, a ukulele, a xylophone, and odds and ends...plenty of things that make noise. ;)

Reflect | Project

It feels surreal, how quickly the days have dissipated.

2016 was another year filled with immense challenges, but also growth.

The massive amount of growth lead to more reading that I've done in quite some time. A few interesting reads I have stumbled across this past year and found quite inspiring in a variety of ways...each one entered into my life for a different reason yet had some core elements in common that pulled me into new opportunities to expand. I thought I'd share here, in case anyone is going through their own struggles and are interested in some inspiration. Often times we just need a hint of a new idea in order to open our hearts and minds that can transform our situations into opportunities rather than deep, dark holes that eat us alive. To the people/friends who either suggested a book on this list or inspired my research attempts that lead to a book on this list: Even if the reason behind it wasn't pretty, they were all mind blowing, so thank you. (including direct links through Amazon - be sure to check out the different format options if you are interested in purchasing)

• A Year to Live - Stephen Levin
• Move into Life: The Nine Essentials for Lifelong Vitality - Anat Baniel 
• Rewired - Erica Spiegelman 
• Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender - David Hawkins 
• Why You're Stuck - Derek Doepker

While I am thankful for the growth and inner digging life has pulled out of me, it has usually been due to pain. I've discovered new levels of pain I wish I didn't know existed, but also new depths of love. And in almost every situation I am faced with, creativity eventually emerged to make some sort of art from the pieces.

The creative part is bittersweet - while I haven't especially enjoyed the painful parts, it really is amazing what can come from them. I've worn my wire heart pendant a lot throughout the past year, as a reminder that we can always make something beautiful out of the pain, the mess, the brokenness, life's "butt kickings"...  A whole slew of new ideas are overflowing and itching to come to life. This road I've stumbled upon has not been easy, and I don't know where it is going. There have been many low moments, when it feels like giving up makes the most sense because this route just doesn't seem to work. Dreams have collapsed, been rebuilt, collapsed again, redesigned, only to continue to collapse. I've felt like I have followed a similar pattern. While it can feel discouraging, and like there isn't much - if anything - left, each pile of rubble seems to sprout new ideas, new inspiration, new perspectives. As long as I am alive, there is the chance that something new may grow.

I put a lot of effort into other peoples dreams and goals, into other peoples lives, for quite some time, though have struggled to put that much effort and love towards my dreams/myself. Calling myself out on this and taking responsibility to make adjustments has been quite the process.

             "If your compassion does not include yourself it is incomplete." - Jack Kornfield

The past couple years, I have loosely toyed with a new "tradition" for New Year's Day. I decided it was a good day to serve as a starting point for what I'd like to fill the year/life with - to rethink priorities, to really consider what I want to spend my time on. Perhaps this deserves a solid effort this year.

I will have a few "announcements" regarding some of the ideas I'll be launching. Some of them I have mixed feelings on at this point, but why not give it a shot - I can always change my mind later, right? Some of these are along the lines of my New Year's Day "tradition" and some of my past challenges - a continued attempt to prioritize what I feel is important and what I want to fill my life with. I have enjoyed the challenges I've done the past couple years, and have one or five I'd like to try for 2017 - and would love to have you along for the ride.

       "And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, 'This is important! And this   
         is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!'  
        And each day, it's up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, 'No. 
        This is what's important.'" -Iain Thomas



So, with the new lessons I've added to my collection, let's see where this goes, shall we?

Affiliate disclaimer: NFG (artist) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. What this essentially means is that if you use the links to the books in this blog to purchase the books for yourself, I would earn a small commission. That being said, I would suggest these books regardless of how you choose to purchase (if you choose to purchase) and read/mentioned them well before signing up for the affiliate program. :)

Rambling reflection...

Today marks four years since I create my artist page on facebook. While I have had numerous frustrations with the site, and question if it worth the time and effort to maintain this page, it was a big step for me... I finally took the step towards prioritizing creativity in my life and pursuing it... It is interesting timing to get this reminder, filled with mixed emotions.

I am yet again struggling with how difficult it can be for "artist" be acceptable - in my mind and other people's minds - as something worth pursuing and investing my time/energy/money/life into... Finding time to create does not seem as straight forward and respected as having the standard work day schedule. And there are a million things that are made to feel more important - because art is more in the "fun" or "hobby" category. I keep finding myself in this place, and end up realizing I have to be the one to prioritize this for myself, yet I keep falling down as new tests pop up. Even though it is my life, and my choice, before I even realize it, I've lost my grip on it and handed it over to everything and everyone else. Balance can be such a tricky bugger.

Success from the outside seems to be measured more business-like, and can sometimes creep into my brain. Four years... and I'm still not "successful" in that way... part of me admittedly feels ashamed. I look back on what has been my life these past four years. Some of it was wonderful, other parts were miserable. I get mad at myself when I notice chunks of time that seemed to have been hijacked, where I feel I ended up losing important pieces of myself, and my life, and the things I love doing (like art) have been pushed out completely... until I was able to step back and see what was happening, then had to refigure out how to get myself back onto a healthy path. While some of this has made up some of the most difficult periods of my life so far, I did learn...a lot... and I always had creativity to help me through it, in one way or another.

While it is appealing to avoid the painful parts of life, we can't always do that. Art/music have always been an outlet I've been thankful for. The past few years have lead me to new mediums and pieces I never imagined. There have been songs, words, mixed media, wire, a new type of "painting", etc. Interesting that as much as I felt I've struggled to create, to find the time/space/will/acceptance, I've actually created a decent amount. Hear that self? It may not have made me money, or gotten me what my past ideas of "success" may be or what other people define as success, but I have done what I truly wanted to do... I used my passion, my talents, my heart, and have been meeting the "limitations" I find with creativity that expands me far beyond what I thought was possible... I end up growing not only as an artist, but as a person.

Now this part is important for me to remind myself of... I can't even tell you how often I've felt "stuck" over these years... and defeated... and hopeless. What I end up learning EVERY time that I make it past these feelings, is that there is always a way... you just have to get creative and be a little more open to options that may not fit what you had in mind. I may not have the financial resources, the physical capabilities, the space, etc required to be the type of person/artist I once envisioned, but I guarantee that the fact I am still alive means there are options to be some form of that... it is all about what is at the core - the hows don't really matter, the fluff doesn't matter, the labels don't matter.

Four years is still a lot to process... so I can't say these realizations have wiped out the "mixed emotions"...  Initially it felt like a "four year" box was drawn around my artist page, and I feel stresses of time/measurement...but I think I needed to remember some of this, and how some of these experiences/lessons just can not be measured/defined...I don't know how I could have made it through the struggles without creativity... and for that I am so very thankful.

Round 2, Day 1





I started my new challenge yesterday. Only a few minutes into the first painting, I was already having second thoughts and felt my inspiration deflate. Due to the more "relaxed" rules of this bout, I questioned if it was silly to label and announce it at all. There was a reason I decided to approach this one differently.



Day 26/30

It has only been a month since the end of the original 30 day challenge, and I have done a couple small paintings in between there - but they all took place on the same day. Basically, in one month, I ended up with one day of actually painting. I have done a few other small things in between - doodles and ideas. I've been holding myself back, however, since I have loose ends to finish up from last year's challenge and the original 30 day painting challenge. While I thought it was necessary to refrain from new creative projects until those were officially complete so I could remain focused and productive, the opposite has been happening.

 



The "wrap up" process has felt like slow motion, some of it relies on other people, the weather, technology - all of these outside sources that I can't always control. These pieces are also not "creative"...I crave creativity on a daily basis, and am essential starving myself of having that. Physically/mentally/emotionally, I can already feel the draining effects. I may begin a day full of motivation for progress, but if the outside factors don't "cooperate" with my plan, it is easy to become frustrated and feel stuck, which can domino and before you know it, it feels like a wasted day. 



Day 30/30

During my original 30 day painting project, one of the coolest things was that no matter what the day held, I was going to have a creation out of it - that feels like a day that was worthwhile, productive, important. And what I'm finding just one day into this project, is allowing myself to create again oddly enough helped me be more productive with the other items on my to-do list. Not only did I do my painting yesterday, but I also did a second one! In addition, I restarted my daily morning meditations, had a great workout, retouched a ton of photos, returned all sorts of messages, wrote a blog post, ate super healthy, etc.

I think it is common for us to put what we really want to do on hold due to all sorts of other obligations. But each day we withhold our true desire, we drain ourselves. This can eventually be felt mentally, emotionally, and physically. Our other "obligations" can even end up suffering - we may not be doing as good of a job as we really could, we start letting things slip, we start resenting these things... sometimes we just drop the ball on them completely.

 

Day 1, Round 2 ... 2 out of 30 paintings complete

I am realizing I still struggle to treat creativity as a priority, I am still treating it as a moveable piece that can be pushed around or out by anything and everything that pops up. While I believe it is good to have flexibility, as we never know what may be thrown our way, that isn't what is happening.

 

While I am not terribly pleased with my first two paintings, what I'm rambling about here was important for me to hear and it is obvious I still need reminders that it is ok to do what I love.

 

Now on to day 2...

Round 2 : 30 day challenge

Day 5

It was almost a month ago that I completed a 30 day painting challenge, using watercolor pencils - a medium I had not been familiar with. I am still working on wrapping up the video editing (it feels like that part is in slow motion) and then will be sending the paintings out as promised.

I did not want to start anything until every part of that challenge - and last year's monthly challenge - was wrapped up. However, I really miss creating daily and am feeling the effects... Plus, I just recently got accepted to display as part of Definitely DePere's ArtWalk! Since I will be sending all of the original 30 paintings away, I thought it could be fun to do another 30 day challenge to have some fresh work to show.

Day 24

This time, would still like to end up with 30 paintings in 30 days, but I am going to allow myself to do multiple a day if I feel inspired to do so. Also, the reveal of all final paintings will take place AT the event - not on a daily basis online like last time, though they will probably be posted at some point. I have not decided yet if I'll be doing videos this round. I do hope to post sneak peek images and updates on my facebook artist page. As of right now, I intend to do the same size (approximately 3"x4"), folded to allow them to be used as cards or to display in an easy, stand alone manner.

Since the completion of the original challenge, I have done a few watercolor paintings. One of my favorites was done immediately after another, using the paper I used to catch any run-off paint. It turned into a world of its own! During my first 30 day project, there were times I really enjoyed a certain technique, and would have loved to jump into a second painting right away to see where it would lead. These all took a few hours to complete, and there were days it was difficult to fit that in. I know I have some very long days scheduled over the next few months where it would be physically impossible to fit this kind of project in as a daily assignment. That is why I have decided to try a more flexible variation.

If you want to see the project in full and have first dibs on any of the paintings, the event will be Friday June 10, 5-8pm, in DePere, WI.

And here we go...Round 2.

Day 30 / 30 ... the end.

Day 30 / 30

Well, this is it. The final painting of the 30 day challenge.

There were days when 30 seemed overwhelming. Towards the end, the feeling flip-flopped from still feeling overwhelming, to feeling this panic of 30 not being nearly enough. There were techniques I would have loved to explore deeper, yet I felt this "pressure" to try new things.

I haven't had the chance to fully reflect yet... but it really has been an interesting project for me. It was fun to see what would pop out each day, as I never had a plan/vision. It was really nice to create, every single day. It was even really fun to see my mom get into it and follow along - even though I'm sure she thinks some of these are really weird. I joined a few groups on facebook for watercolor and abstract art, and suddenly my newsfeed got prettier - and while I felt out of place in those groups, people were accepting. This project helped motivate me to do my daily meditation (though I did miss a couple days), and was in a way, a type of meditation in itself - to just let whatever was inside come out in a unique way. As silly as it may sound, it was a great reminder to all sorts of life lessons - amazing how these can be reinforced quite naturally when dealing in a language you understand and enjoy.

I plan to scan all of them in, and possibly rephotograph all of them in natural light since that wasn't always possible. And I am looking forward to seeing them all together. After that, I will begin the next step - getting rid of them all, whether to those who requested them, or random unsuspecting people. ;)

During a Kyle Cease seminar a few years ago, he ended it with assigning us to choose something to do for 21 days in a row - since that is the amount of time it takes to establish a habit. It was a cool idea, and the range of topics was unreal. Nervous about committing to anything as I enjoyed each day being new and open, I think that help me embrace this type of commitment - it made me think about what I want to have in my life on a daily basis that I wasn't making a priority anymore... and it gave back some degree of power/control that I felt I no longer had over my own life - granted I did get horribly ill and missed a couple days due to the fact I couldn't move without getting sick, but I ended up extending that project and it was so helpful (that particular one, I chose to do my physical therapy/workouts daily - as I had done for such a long time, until I just sort of stopped and always struggled to get back into that routine).

During the final days of this recent project, I found myself thinking of how I could use this format to accomplish other ideas I've been sitting on for far too long or how to use it to reprioritize what is important to me. The results I've been having, the thoughts and feelings, the whole process has been really fulfilling. Last year, I created/gave away 12+ pieces of art and learned so much along the way. So far in 2016, I've now added 30 new paintings to my life and learned and relearned even more. I can't even explain how exciting that is, and for so many reasons!

While I would love to jump into another project right away, I have realized there are a lot of loose ends to tie up and I want to complete this project fully - sending out the paintings, editing/posting the rest of the video time lapses, etc. I also have a few loose ends from last year's giveaways to wrap up.

Thank you to those who followed along, commented, and/or wanted these little creations.

I highly suggest considering a 21-30 day project of your own if you share similar feelings like I had, that  the priorities in your life could use some adjusting. :) Otherwise, stay tuned, I'm sure I'll have plenty more of my own to work on in creative ways. ;)

4 AM Rambling

Day 21 / 30

There is no expectation of art to give me a masterpiece, to fix my problems, to make me feel good. When I just do it, just to do it, it is such a unique feeling. The results don't matter, it is the process. By engaging in creating, I allow myself to be me...better yet, I allow myself to just BE. It can provide an outlet for whatever is going on inside. Or it could just simply be the "breather" I so desperately needed but didn't know how to give myself. It can let things calm down, it is a chance to recenter. I can physically translate invisible, intangible, indescribable feelings.

All of this is so much more meaningful than having a "masterpiece" to show off. The benefits of creative outlets are unlimited and can't be put into words, there is no knowing where it could lead. There isn't an end goal as an artist for me - I strive to just keep creating, exploring, experimenting, learning, growing and welcome the never ending path that is filled with unknowns that can lead to more than I ever imagined. There's really only one way to find out what is even possible, and that is to start, to do.

I am in awe of some of the things this medium is showing me. When I let it do its thing, I feel like I am simply collaborating with the medium,  and the things that happen are crazy! While I may be far more excited than I should be, just the way the water moves is fascinating. The way the colors mix. How suddenly a piece can just start glowing. I don't fully understand how some of it happens. But it is pretty flippin' cool.

Now apply all of what I've just written to life... letting life do its thing and collaborating with it rather than forcing it to be what I think it should be. Amazing things can happen, unexpectedly and beyond understanding... - it is important to note this isn't always "good" but regardless, there is always some lesson, some opportunity to grow, something to gain... so even with the bad, all is not lost.

Plus, no matter the results, things are just more fun this way. ;)

Day 19 frustrations and lessons - no where to hide...

Today's painting was frustrating.

By Day 19 I should have an idea of what I'm doing and be able to consistently turn out great work, right? - a good reminder not to let expectations like that run the show. Today's experiment, however, just couldn't seem to find balance...

I woke up extra dizzy (I'm actually dizzy on a daily basis, constantly) and just "out of whack" in a few ways, but just fine in others...things throughout the day have slowly followed suit, however, "losing balance"...to the point where my painting set up flipped over, sending my water flying, along with my painting-which took about 5 minutes to locate and too much time to clean up the mess. I had to jump between video recording devices again for a variety of reasons, both devices fell too many times to count - this should be a fun one to edit. :P And throughout the painting, I just couldn't get the elements to balance for some reason - no matter how hard I tried. The paper started losing its strength and was getting ridiculously bent up. I had to stop simply because I was sure I'd end up with a piece of garbage pretty soon! Seriously, this was not a pretty process today. A reminder to learn how to just let go instead of forcing, perhaps?

While I'm not thrilled with it, it actually is a pretty fitting depiction of how I feel today, inside and out...unbalanced and messy.  I don't want to share it, and I don't want to feel this way either. But, here it is.

I have loved the fact that art has been a wonderful outlet to take the painful, unpleasant stuff of life, and turn it into beauty...but the result isn't always beautiful. Art is not straight forward, there is not a right or wrong answer, and often times you have more failures than successes... those are the parts people don't see - the loads of art that were started and never finished, the massive amounts that were thrown away or painted over. So what you usually end up seeing is the very small percentage of art that the artist actually felt worked... the stuff that did turn out beautiful, and inspiring, that people want to buy or wish they were capable of creating. (I'm typing as I'm thinking through this by the way) I love having art in my life, but it isn't always easy, or fun, or pretty. As mentioned, a lot of times it stems from the unpleasant.

My rule for myself in this project was to do ONE painting a day, and no matter how it turned out, I had to throw it out into the world. Of course I secretly hoped every single one would be amazing, but realistically, I knew there was a good chance that wouldn't be the case... in fact, considering how new this medium is to me and how uncomfortable I am, there was an even bigger chance of most paintings being "failures"... and for some reason I still thought this project was a good idea. ;)

In a sense, this set up forces me to show my flaws and failures. I really didn't think this through. ;) But I guess it is more honest.

Anyway...despite the failures and the ugly parts, there is always something to learn.

Half way

Fifteen days doesn't sound like very much. But I can almost guarantee that without this challenge, I would not have created any artwork during this time- that would have been over 2 weeks, half of a month, of not doing something I love, that I'm pursuing. Now, I have fifteen days where I have something to show for my existence. There were entire years that flew by without me feeling I had that much to show!

This bumpy road I'm on has felt like it was going to bring me right into the ditch a handful of times. I'm slowly starting to remember some important lessons about taking care of myself - as a whole, and to valuing my passions. I've been reminded about who I am as a person, and the strength I possess within myself. While I sometimes feel like I lack far more than I have to offer, there's still something there. Without taking good care of my mind, body and soul it is easy to feel completely depleted after so many bumps. I have a tendency to continue attempting to "give" to others even when feeling this way, neglecting myself, which only drags me into a deeper state of unhealthy. Giving myself this task of painting on a daily basis has been a constant, "simple" way to remind myself to do something for me...and this also gives back some degree of control in my life...it was my choice to do it, and it is my choice to continue. It awakens that awareness that we often times do get a choice in so much more than we may realize. Just feeling like you have even the smallest chance to choose how you spend just a tiny sliver of your day can be a really big deal!

There have been some difficult days the past few weeks. Having a chance to do what I love (even if it isn't in the way I ideally want to do it), has been such a positive thing. If a small painting is the best thing that happened that day, I'll take it - I created! Not to mention, the therapeutic effects of art are so valuable. This gives me an outlet for whatever is going on inside to do what it needs to do - whether I just need to "zone out" or I need to process something or I just need a physical way to release something.



Day 15

Some of the recent paintings, I brought in techniques I haven't used since college - sandpaper and exacto-knives. I used to use these tools on my charcoal drawings to create interesting texture. There was something therapeutic about the physical effort involved. Using these techniques in watercolor has been therapeutic in the same way. It has been interesting to see how the added texture reacts to this new, colorful medium.

I've been asked if I'm "happy" with the paintings... it isn't really about being happy, or about selling them, or anything like that... I knew I needed a kick in the pants to remember it is ok to put creating on my priorities list, and to take care of myself. So the fact that I am actually doing the task, that I am happy with. The paintings, well, I'm just trying to let them be whatever they happen to be...to not judge them- it would be easy to jump to negative judgments as I'm still quite uncomfortable with this medium and don't know what I'm doing! I want to make sure I remain open to this medium, rather than get in my head about how it should be done, how it should look, if the painting for the day is good enough to post - the task is one painting a day...not paint until I get one that I think is awesome (I'll never sleep!). I have had some I absolutely hated, which were painful to post, but that's a part of the deal. ;) And who knows, maybe someone will like it. That's the beauty about art.

I was hoping I'd have some really interesting things to say, but this is all I've got right now...

Momentum

Day 10

So...this is something kind of neat that I realized the other day...

I get these sort of waves of creativity, where there is a burst of ideas, and then no ideas. A lot of times when they hit, I am feeling open, creative, and like I'm being myself. I lack ideas when I feel stuck or like I can't be myself for whatever reason - health, stress, whatever roadblocks pop up.

This project is shaking loose some junk! Granted I am doing a few other things in conjunction with it that are helping as well.

Prior to beginning the challenge, I just simply realized I am feeling stuck again, and need to figure out how to get back on track with taking care of myself - mind, body, and soul. It has started with little things...with some bigger ones eventually being thrown in. Some of these include: reading some eye opening books , getting back into working out/physical therapy (which is a huge deal with all the health issues and colds/sicknesses I've been catching!), meditating, Kyle Cease has been having some super amazing inspiring posts/videos, etc. Heck one of the early steps (inspired by some of the reading I've been doing) was as simple as practicing some self awareness in terms of trying to pay attention to when/where I'm holding tension in my body (it is crazy how much this happens without even realizing it!). And then, of course, this 30 day project was added to the schedule, which has opened the floodgates to all sorts of realizations that I've been blogging away about. There are all kinds of options to use as a beginning step.

Now this is the fun part. Once you take that first step (for example, with being creative), in any way, shape or form - no matter how minor it may seem - often times, it grows and more of it starts to seep out, sometimes turning into a full fledged waterfall. One of the things that started happening a few years ago when I was in what I guess I'd consider a creative peak, was I developed almost a sort of ADD - I had so much inspiration and creative energy that I was constantly jumping from project to project, whenever something inspired me (even if it was in the middle of a project), and I loved that freedom to move! Life has felt more and more restrictive since then - which it had prior to that period of time too, so I know there is a way to change that... the trick is to actually start doing something...ANYTHING! And that's how momentum can be generated to move towards positive change.

So here are a few new creative related things that have popped out since starting the project:

• Videos - this was unexpected. I haven't figured out the best way to do them yet, so I apologize for the poor lighting/editing/view/etc. But I am glad to be doing it (per the suggestion of a friend). It is interesting to see these develop, especially since I have no concrete idea of what the painting will be when I begin. Also, I never thought I'd have the opportunity to learn anything about video. It has been frustrating and cool at the same time.
• Pendants - I've made some new ones...and am photographing old ones (which has been on my to-do list for far too long!).
• Bookmarks - suggested by a friend... still in the experimental phases but they've begun!
• One of my paintings inspired an idea that I think may develop into a tangent project...
• I had a shower epiphany just the other day - there is a cool project that I've been eyeing up for quite some time, but I've felt stuck with how to make it a reality... I don't feel I have the financial resources to participate and I am also conflicted as I'd like an eco-friendly way to partake. I have yet to actually try it, but I came up with an idea for half of it that would be both eco-friendly and financially friendly... the trade off is more work, time, and thinking power but you have no idea how exciting this is!
• Wrapping up a few personal projects - that again, have been on the to-do list for far too long.
• I signed up for flickr, also suggested by a friend, to post the paintings project. I joined a few art groups on facebook, too, eek. I struggle with wasting time on the computer, I'm already spending more time than I'd like to on this project. I don't feel good enough to be a part of these groups, these people are really flippin' good! This is just ridiculously uncomfortable for so many reasons... But hey, what's a little more discomfort thrown on top of a project based in a medium that has made me uncomfortable in so many ways already! Heck of a way to face a handful of fears all at once. Let. Go.
• I already mentioned the surge of blog posts that have been pouring out of me (Day 1 nervousness, rambling on and on about the good and the bad, reevaluating "failure", noticing some life lessons I've lost). They haven't been easy to share, as they are far more personal and revealing than I am comfortable with. I've been physically ill, unable to keep anything down, a handful of times this winter. So it is fitting to now be throwing up thoughts and feelings, I suppose. Though I'm not sure which is more unpleasant at this point. 

Art in bed

It doesn't take much to get the ball rolling. While I would love to just jump back into that past creative peak, sometimes it is necessary to start back at square one and let it naturally build. The nice thing is the past and all its lessons can serve as tools, making square one much more accessible (at least I know some of what is possible this time!), and the following steps can follow more smoothly.

It feels like this round of waves is a bit more turbulent, filled with distractions that make it difficult to ride the high points. This week I got to feel at least a hint of them, though! So to know they're there is a great feeling and provides inspiration to keep this momentum rollin'.