Expansion...

I have been trying to think of interesting things to add to this new Patreon experience for my music challenge... while I have loads of unrelated ideas, I want to be sure I keep this focused on the music for the time being. I don't know if this is at all interesting to anyone else, but I was plunking around on the piano recently, trying to remember a song I wrote years and years (and years) ago (which may be February's tune)... it wasn't pretty, but I recorded some of it. Given my experience with January, and how I found myself wondering if professional musicans are just perfect human beings (and something I'll never be), I thought it would be interesting to try to document some of the "unpretty" parts... the beginning stages... the parts we don't typically want others to see... Now hopefully this section isn't just going to be filled with painful notes and frustrated grunts that will just give you (and me) a headache, but I am creating a "Patreon Patrons only" section to my website, where this content can be watched, laughed at, and maybe make "failed perfectionists" (such as myself) realize there isn't shame in imperfections... this is the process of growth!

If this does sound appealing, the new tier will be available for $5/month... where you will receive the password for the Patreon Patron's section of my website, and of course it includes the previous tier's reward of listening/downloading the final song on Patreon.

I'm not sure what I am getting myself into with this... but I figure it gives me a chance to use this new computer investment more fully, learn the iMovie program, play with basic video editing again, and document the creative process. Plus, maybe it will be helpful to see where I start versus where I end up in a month's time! So if you're interested in more than just still photos from Facebook/Patreon and would like to see some of the other pieces of the puzzle, check it out: www.patreon.com/NFGartist (the $5/month level).

January's experience of the 2017 music challenge

It seems like January flew by. Admittedly, I thought this first song wasn't going to be terribly difficult, as it is pretty short and it was already written a couple years ago, and I actually remembered how to play it! The hurdles I knew existed definitely posed a challenge. (recap on 2017's musical challenge)

I have done a lot of inner work to release the need to be a perfectionist... yet as I listen to each recording attempt, I get to pick apart every mistake, inconsistency, imperfection... I continue to re-record, in hopes that the next time will be perfect, only to fall short. This should be interesting to see how this develops over the year - is it possible to achieve perfection? I seem to have this idea in my head that professional musicians may actually be completely perfect!

The arm was was definitely a factor during this... I can't only play the song so many times before I'm icing my shoulder. Still have to feel out how to deal with the physical health issues, but I'm looking forward to seeing what happens with this - even though it may be a painful process. ;)

It was good to have the chance to play around on the new computer and experience a newer version of GarageBand. The program was quite overwhelming at first with all of the new features (my computer and version of this program is quite old!), but I figured out how to record sound and that was exciting in itself! On top of that, I am playing around with some of the other settings, adding multiple tracks, etc. Thrilled the "white noise" effect I had on my older computer seems not to exist anymore!

So while the final recording may not be quite perfect...there was plenty of good stuff about this experience. I just hope the generous and supportive patrons feel it was worth their while too!

I realized that even though I am on a deadline, why not allow myself to re-record at some point down the line if I have the chance to do it better (as I learn) or to add additional instruments/layers? Of course I need to make the focus each month on a new song, but who knows, maybe some will go smoothly. ;)

This final day of recording was interesting... I didn't have as much time as I was hoping, there were snowplows driving up and down the street and shovelers, I wasn't feeling very well, and my arm hasn't recovered from yesterday's recording session...to name a few. Yet today is when I learned a few new things about GarageBand and my level of listening seemed to deepen. I'm noticing subtle things in my surroundings to pay attention to, as well as subtleties in the recordings (which sometimes just drives me nuts ;) ). As silly as it may sound, I even played around with the shaker in new ways and paid attention to the slight variations found within that instrument. I didn't do anything incredible with this recording or anything, but all that I've learned has me excited for the next tune.




If you'd like to join the project, it can be found here... For $1/month, you get to hear and download the tiny, original song of the month. Thanks for the support!

Here's to additional growth/lessons ... embracing a process that can sometimes be painful...and to reconnecting with "lost" passions. And of course doing something out of your comfort zone...which reminds me, I actually have to release this song now, don't I? ;)

www.patreon.com/NFGartist

Music challenge of 2017: a bit of backstory

I thought I would share some additional information regarding the new creative challenge of 2017, what Patreon is, and why I have decided to use it as the platform for this project.

I covered the next two paragraphs on my Facebook artist page and on my Patreon page, so feel free to skip that part if you already saw those posts: 

Patreon is similar to Kickstarter... except it is for ongoing projects rather than a single project that needs funding. It is a way for people to support creatives - to allow them to keep doing what they do best. The creatives have various "rewards" for different payment levels, these are things they give to those who become "patrons" or supporters/participants of their creative journey. Some charge per project, others charge once a month. There is a huge range of talent over here, pretty inspiring! 

How I am starting out with this, is with a specific year long project. I want to create/record one original small song (probably 1-2 min. or less) a month and release it through Patreon. If you would like to participate/support this project, it is $1/month (which is basically you pay $1 and get to hear and download the monthly original song - the song is yours to keep - and also get to enjoy whatever other content I share over there). I guess I am almost using it as a “shop” in a way or like one of those monthly subscription that we see a lot of these days that involve paying per month for something that interests you yet has an element of surprise (I don't know what to expect from these songs, so it is a surprise for me too!). 

So, music... 

Music was my first love. As a little kid, I would set up buckets like a drum set and use pencils (specifically with big erasers) as drumsticks. I used the vacuum cleaner handle to belt out tunes. I really loved my tiny kiddie keyboard. When I was eight, I started piano lessons. When I was in eighth grade, I started drum lessons. Soon after that, I found a new kind of music in the form of the band Creed, which blew my mind - from lyrics to the incredible guitar picking, it took music to a much deeper level for me. I just felt this need to be able to play these songs, so I started to teach myself guitar. The song I started with was What's This Life For (here is the guitar book on Amazon or check out the My Own Prison album on Amazon). I also started composing music on the computer. As an adult, I've added dabbling in ukulele and xylophone.

I used to be able to sit at the piano (or with any instrument really) and play for hours. However, in my early twenties, some health issues crept up and has made it difficult to continue to play music, especially like I once could, much like some of the struggles I have talked about with art. With art, I have been able to find new ways to create: I've embraced smaller works, and I have expanded the range of mediums/materials so that I can bounce around between several projects depending on what I can physically do and what I feel inspired by. I haven't found tricks like this with music yet, I don't know if they exist. I have been grateful to be able to play a few songs, once in a great while - as that can sometimes be difficult in itself! 

Much like embracing small works of art, I have had several small songs that have come about through the years. I tend to devalue them, because they aren't full length or anything terribly amazing. However, there is something kind of neat about them that I thought would be interesting to explore. And while I explore, I thought it may also be time to start opening up this creative outlet to share...

I think I may stop there for now, and continue this another day. 

Thanks for your support, in any form. :)

To join the project on Patreon: www.patreon.com/NFGartist

Affiliate disclaimer: NFG (artist) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.   ...What this essentially means is that if you use the Amazon links in this blog (which I tried to label as such) and make a purchase, I would earn a small commission. That being said, I would suggest these things regardless of how you choose to purchase (if you choose to purchase).

Creative Challenge #2 of 2017

Photo by Casi Lea Photography, of All Star Studios 

during a lighting lesson

I'm going to get a little crazy with these creative challenges for myself... so hold on tight...

I have slowed down with modeling. Again, there have been hurdles, and I've tripped a bit. This was a creative outlet I never expected to experience, and fell in love with it. Workshops, photo lessons, creative/concept shoots, and so on... I enjoyed it all!

It always felt like a limited time opportunity, however, and I am a bit disappointed in myself to have let it slip away for a bit. So in an attempt to soak it up while I can, I would love to do a total of 6 photoshoots this year - and am open to the type of shoot. I would of course consider more if the interest is there, but am aiming for 6 in which I am willing to do it as a trade (for images). And I will consider out of state options if they'll work with my schedule/financial situation.

What would you like to see? Are there photographers you'd like to see a collaboration with? (new or old)

Photographers, please get in touch if you are interested being considered for one of the six slots. I am looking for shoots that will be beneficial to all involved, that will help us grow, that will inspire. Contact me via PM on my Facebook artist page or through the contact page on my website. I currently have long hair, but may be chopping it around Spring time.

NOTE: I do not do nudes, erotica, fetish.

Kicking off 2017 with a Creative Challenge

Hello 2017.

It is time for another terrifying creative challenge.

I have set up a Patreon page for this one, if you would like to follow along. I may be adding to the  page, but for now I am going to attempt to figure out how it works via this challenge...

Music was my first love, and it has slipped out of my life much like art had due to life and obstacles. My instruments patiently wait, and I am genuinely sad when I think of them going unused, as if they can actually feel the pain of being abandoned... I think it is time to find creative ways to reunite.

This is an idea I've been tossing around in my brain for quite some time, but loads of fears continue to get in the way. Due to a handful of technology issues at the end of 2016, I ended up needing to make a hefty purchase of a shiny new computer and conveniently enough, I think it eliminates a few of the hurdles I had been struggling with regarding this new challenge idea - uh oh, the excuses are dwindling!

So, here we go.

The new creative challenge is to record one tiny tune a month, whether it is one that has been floating around in my collection for a while or a freshly created one. I have loads of song ideas, some of which I rather enjoyed as mini songs, yet I always thought they had to some day "grow up" to the standard length of a "real" song in order to be complete. However, I've decided to embrace them for what they are, plus I think they could make neat ringtones! If you'd like to participate, and if I understand how this Patreon thing works, you can sign up to receive the recordings for $1/month.

I'm not sure what to expect really... All I can say is I have a piano, a guitar, a ukulele, a xylophone, and odds and ends...plenty of things that make noise. ;)

Reflect | Project

It feels surreal, how quickly the days have dissipated.

2016 was another year filled with immense challenges, but also growth.

The massive amount of growth lead to more reading that I've done in quite some time. A few interesting reads I have stumbled across this past year and found quite inspiring in a variety of ways...each one entered into my life for a different reason yet had some core elements in common that pulled me into new opportunities to expand. I thought I'd share here, in case anyone is going through their own struggles and are interested in some inspiration. Often times we just need a hint of a new idea in order to open our hearts and minds that can transform our situations into opportunities rather than deep, dark holes that eat us alive. To the people/friends who either suggested a book on this list or inspired my research attempts that lead to a book on this list: Even if the reason behind it wasn't pretty, they were all mind blowing, so thank you. (including direct links through Amazon - be sure to check out the different format options if you are interested in purchasing)

• A Year to Live - Stephen Levin
• Move into Life: The Nine Essentials for Lifelong Vitality - Anat Baniel 
• Rewired - Erica Spiegelman 
• Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender - David Hawkins 
• Why You're Stuck - Derek Doepker

While I am thankful for the growth and inner digging life has pulled out of me, it has usually been due to pain. I've discovered new levels of pain I wish I didn't know existed, but also new depths of love. And in almost every situation I am faced with, creativity eventually emerged to make some sort of art from the pieces.

The creative part is bittersweet - while I haven't especially enjoyed the painful parts, it really is amazing what can come from them. I've worn my wire heart pendant a lot throughout the past year, as a reminder that we can always make something beautiful out of the pain, the mess, the brokenness, life's "butt kickings"...  A whole slew of new ideas are overflowing and itching to come to life. This road I've stumbled upon has not been easy, and I don't know where it is going. There have been many low moments, when it feels like giving up makes the most sense because this route just doesn't seem to work. Dreams have collapsed, been rebuilt, collapsed again, redesigned, only to continue to collapse. I've felt like I have followed a similar pattern. While it can feel discouraging, and like there isn't much - if anything - left, each pile of rubble seems to sprout new ideas, new inspiration, new perspectives. As long as I am alive, there is the chance that something new may grow.

I put a lot of effort into other peoples dreams and goals, into other peoples lives, for quite some time, though have struggled to put that much effort and love towards my dreams/myself. Calling myself out on this and taking responsibility to make adjustments has been quite the process.

             "If your compassion does not include yourself it is incomplete." - Jack Kornfield

The past couple years, I have loosely toyed with a new "tradition" for New Year's Day. I decided it was a good day to serve as a starting point for what I'd like to fill the year/life with - to rethink priorities, to really consider what I want to spend my time on. Perhaps this deserves a solid effort this year.

I will have a few "announcements" regarding some of the ideas I'll be launching. Some of them I have mixed feelings on at this point, but why not give it a shot - I can always change my mind later, right? Some of these are along the lines of my New Year's Day "tradition" and some of my past challenges - a continued attempt to prioritize what I feel is important and what I want to fill my life with. I have enjoyed the challenges I've done the past couple years, and have one or five I'd like to try for 2017 - and would love to have you along for the ride.

       "And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, 'This is important! And this   
         is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!'  
        And each day, it's up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, 'No. 
        This is what's important.'" -Iain Thomas



So, with the new lessons I've added to my collection, let's see where this goes, shall we?

Affiliate disclaimer: NFG (artist) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. What this essentially means is that if you use the links to the books in this blog to purchase the books for yourself, I would earn a small commission. That being said, I would suggest these books regardless of how you choose to purchase (if you choose to purchase) and read/mentioned them well before signing up for the affiliate program. :)

Rambling reflection...

Today marks four years since I create my artist page on facebook. While I have had numerous frustrations with the site, and question if it worth the time and effort to maintain this page, it was a big step for me... I finally took the step towards prioritizing creativity in my life and pursuing it... It is interesting timing to get this reminder, filled with mixed emotions.

I am yet again struggling with how difficult it can be for "artist" be acceptable - in my mind and other people's minds - as something worth pursuing and investing my time/energy/money/life into... Finding time to create does not seem as straight forward and respected as having the standard work day schedule. And there are a million things that are made to feel more important - because art is more in the "fun" or "hobby" category. I keep finding myself in this place, and end up realizing I have to be the one to prioritize this for myself, yet I keep falling down as new tests pop up. Even though it is my life, and my choice, before I even realize it, I've lost my grip on it and handed it over to everything and everyone else. Balance can be such a tricky bugger.

Success from the outside seems to be measured more business-like, and can sometimes creep into my brain. Four years... and I'm still not "successful" in that way... part of me admittedly feels ashamed. I look back on what has been my life these past four years. Some of it was wonderful, other parts were miserable. I get mad at myself when I notice chunks of time that seemed to have been hijacked, where I feel I ended up losing important pieces of myself, and my life, and the things I love doing (like art) have been pushed out completely... until I was able to step back and see what was happening, then had to refigure out how to get myself back onto a healthy path. While some of this has made up some of the most difficult periods of my life so far, I did learn...a lot... and I always had creativity to help me through it, in one way or another.

While it is appealing to avoid the painful parts of life, we can't always do that. Art/music have always been an outlet I've been thankful for. The past few years have lead me to new mediums and pieces I never imagined. There have been songs, words, mixed media, wire, a new type of "painting", etc. Interesting that as much as I felt I've struggled to create, to find the time/space/will/acceptance, I've actually created a decent amount. Hear that self? It may not have made me money, or gotten me what my past ideas of "success" may be or what other people define as success, but I have done what I truly wanted to do... I used my passion, my talents, my heart, and have been meeting the "limitations" I find with creativity that expands me far beyond what I thought was possible... I end up growing not only as an artist, but as a person.

Now this part is important for me to remind myself of... I can't even tell you how often I've felt "stuck" over these years... and defeated... and hopeless. What I end up learning EVERY time that I make it past these feelings, is that there is always a way... you just have to get creative and be a little more open to options that may not fit what you had in mind. I may not have the financial resources, the physical capabilities, the space, etc required to be the type of person/artist I once envisioned, but I guarantee that the fact I am still alive means there are options to be some form of that... it is all about what is at the core - the hows don't really matter, the fluff doesn't matter, the labels don't matter.

Four years is still a lot to process... so I can't say these realizations have wiped out the "mixed emotions"...  Initially it felt like a "four year" box was drawn around my artist page, and I feel stresses of time/measurement...but I think I needed to remember some of this, and how some of these experiences/lessons just can not be measured/defined...I don't know how I could have made it through the struggles without creativity... and for that I am so very thankful.