Momentum

Day 10

So...this is something kind of neat that I realized the other day...

I get these sort of waves of creativity, where there is a burst of ideas, and then no ideas. A lot of times when they hit, I am feeling open, creative, and like I'm being myself. I lack ideas when I feel stuck or like I can't be myself for whatever reason - health, stress, whatever roadblocks pop up.

This project is shaking loose some junk! Granted I am doing a few other things in conjunction with it that are helping as well.

Prior to beginning the challenge, I just simply realized I am feeling stuck again, and need to figure out how to get back on track with taking care of myself - mind, body, and soul. It has started with little things...with some bigger ones eventually being thrown in. Some of these include: reading some eye opening books , getting back into working out/physical therapy (which is a huge deal with all the health issues and colds/sicknesses I've been catching!), meditating, Kyle Cease has been having some super amazing inspiring posts/videos, etc. Heck one of the early steps (inspired by some of the reading I've been doing) was as simple as practicing some self awareness in terms of trying to pay attention to when/where I'm holding tension in my body (it is crazy how much this happens without even realizing it!). And then, of course, this 30 day project was added to the schedule, which has opened the floodgates to all sorts of realizations that I've been blogging away about. There are all kinds of options to use as a beginning step.

Now this is the fun part. Once you take that first step (for example, with being creative), in any way, shape or form - no matter how minor it may seem - often times, it grows and more of it starts to seep out, sometimes turning into a full fledged waterfall. One of the things that started happening a few years ago when I was in what I guess I'd consider a creative peak, was I developed almost a sort of ADD - I had so much inspiration and creative energy that I was constantly jumping from project to project, whenever something inspired me (even if it was in the middle of a project), and I loved that freedom to move! Life has felt more and more restrictive since then - which it had prior to that period of time too, so I know there is a way to change that... the trick is to actually start doing something...ANYTHING! And that's how momentum can be generated to move towards positive change.

So here are a few new creative related things that have popped out since starting the project:

• Videos - this was unexpected. I haven't figured out the best way to do them yet, so I apologize for the poor lighting/editing/view/etc. But I am glad to be doing it (per the suggestion of a friend). It is interesting to see these develop, especially since I have no concrete idea of what the painting will be when I begin. Also, I never thought I'd have the opportunity to learn anything about video. It has been frustrating and cool at the same time.
• Pendants - I've made some new ones...and am photographing old ones (which has been on my to-do list for far too long!).
• Bookmarks - suggested by a friend... still in the experimental phases but they've begun!
• One of my paintings inspired an idea that I think may develop into a tangent project...
• I had a shower epiphany just the other day - there is a cool project that I've been eyeing up for quite some time, but I've felt stuck with how to make it a reality... I don't feel I have the financial resources to participate and I am also conflicted as I'd like an eco-friendly way to partake. I have yet to actually try it, but I came up with an idea for half of it that would be both eco-friendly and financially friendly... the trade off is more work, time, and thinking power but you have no idea how exciting this is!
• Wrapping up a few personal projects - that again, have been on the to-do list for far too long.
• I signed up for flickr, also suggested by a friend, to post the paintings project. I joined a few art groups on facebook, too, eek. I struggle with wasting time on the computer, I'm already spending more time than I'd like to on this project. I don't feel good enough to be a part of these groups, these people are really flippin' good! This is just ridiculously uncomfortable for so many reasons... But hey, what's a little more discomfort thrown on top of a project based in a medium that has made me uncomfortable in so many ways already! Heck of a way to face a handful of fears all at once. Let. Go.
• I already mentioned the surge of blog posts that have been pouring out of me (Day 1 nervousness, rambling on and on about the good and the bad, reevaluating "failure", noticing some life lessons I've lost). They haven't been easy to share, as they are far more personal and revealing than I am comfortable with. I've been physically ill, unable to keep anything down, a handful of times this winter. So it is fitting to now be throwing up thoughts and feelings, I suppose. Though I'm not sure which is more unpleasant at this point. 

Art in bed

It doesn't take much to get the ball rolling. While I would love to just jump back into that past creative peak, sometimes it is necessary to start back at square one and let it naturally build. The nice thing is the past and all its lessons can serve as tools, making square one much more accessible (at least I know some of what is possible this time!), and the following steps can follow more smoothly.

It feels like this round of waves is a bit more turbulent, filled with distractions that make it difficult to ride the high points. This week I got to feel at least a hint of them, though! So to know they're there is a great feeling and provides inspiration to keep this momentum rollin'.